Turning strangers and even friends away

How to Lose Friends and Repel People: Common Behaviors That Turn Strangers Away

Meeting new people is an essential part of life. Whether it's networking, making friends, or building relationships, first impressions matter. Unfortunately, some behaviors can instantly turn people off—especially strangers. In this blog, we’ll explore the many ways to alienate strangers and how to avoid these pitfalls to foster better connections.

1. Asking for Money Immediately

Nothing screams "red flag" like approaching someone you barely know and asking for financial help. Money is a sensitive subject, even among close friends, so springing this request on a stranger is a surefire way to make them feel uncomfortable and guarded.

Better approach: Try to gain their trust first and establish rapport. If you really need them to assist you, then you can be honest and present an offer for a trade or favor after establishing trust.

2. Oversharing Personal Problems

While vulnerability can build intimacy, oversharing personal issues with someone you’ve just met can be overwhelming. Strangers aren’t equipped to handle your emotional baggage, and they may feel awkward or trapped in the conversation.

Better approach: Share light and engaging topics initially. Once a bond is formed, gradually open up—but gauge their comfort level before diving deep.

3. Being Overly Familiar

Using nicknames, touching, or being overly friendly with someone you just met can be perceived as insincere or invasive. Strangers need time to warm up to you before accepting such familiarity.

Better approach: Respect personal space and boundaries. A warm smile and polite conversation are better ways to start.

4. Talking Only About Yourself

Speaking much, and showing little interest in the other person, will make you appear self-centered. Strangers may leave with a feeling of not being heard or important.

Better approach: Practice active listening. Ask questions on their interests and opinions, and this will make the conversation two-way.

5. Criticizing or Judging Too Quickly

Making derogatory remarks about their appearance, lifestyle, or opinions can make strangers shun you right away. Nobody likes to be judged, especially by someone he or she doesn't know well.

Best alternative: Keep your conversations positive and non-judgmental. If you don't agree, voice your opinion but do so respectfully without attacking theirs.

6. Interrupting or Talking Over Them

Cutting someone off mid-sentence or dominating the discussion is a quick way to frustrate or alienate a new acquaintance. It signals that you’re more interested in your own voice than theirs.

Better approach: Wait for your turn to speak, and acknowledge what they’ve said before responding. This shows respect and attentiveness.

7. Ignoring Social Cues

Not getting even subtle hints, such as crossing arms, looking away, or giving short answers can make conversations uncomfortable. Strangers may feel forced or frustrated when you do not take their signs of discomfort seriously.

Better approach: Observe him carefully. If he acts otherwise or is really uncomfortable, change your style or tactfully end the conversation.

8. Being Pushy or Aggressive

Whether it is the selling to them, forcing one's opinion on them, or trying to get them on your side through pressure, pushiness can be a turn-off major.

Better approach: Be courteous and respect others' will. Discussions have to be mutual; thus, dominating is a total no.

9. Constant Complaining

Nobody wants to waste their time with a negative person. Strangers especially are not going to stick around if you're perceived as a chronic complainer.

Better approach: Keep the tone light-hearted and positive. If you need to vent, do so to close friends or trustworthy people.

10. Asking Too Many Personal Questions

Interrogating someone about their salary, relationship status, or other private matters right off the bat is invasive and can make them feel uncomfortable.


Better approach: Stick to neutral topics like hobbies, interests, or shared experiences. Let deeper topics emerge naturally over time.

Conclusion

In an instant, strangers can be turned off without us even realizing it. We can create more positive and meaningful connections by being mindful of our actions and words. Be authentic, respect boundaries, and make sure you are listening more than you dominate the conversation.

Remember that building relationships is a marathon, not a sprint. Take your time, be genuine, and let trust develop naturally. The rewards of meaningful interactions far outweigh the fleeting satisfaction of an awkward, self-serving exchange.

Subject: Reconnecting across time and differences

Dear Portales and Yabes relatives,

I hope this message finds each of you well, wherever you may be in the world. It has been far too long since we last spoke, and my heart feels heavy with the weight of all the moments we've missed together.

As the years have passed, life has taken us on separate journeys, and in the busyness of it all, we have grown distant from one another. But today, I am reaching out with an earnest desire to bridge that gap, to rekindle the bonds that tie us together as relatives.

Though we may have differing political views and beliefs, and our paths may diverge in countless ways, I believe that the love and kinship we share transcend these differences. Our relatives are a tapestry woven from the threads of our shared history, laughter, and tears. It is a bond that cannot be broken by time or distance, by disagreement or discord.

Life is too short to let our differences keep us apart. Let us set aside any grievances or misunderstandings that may have arisen between us and embrace the opportunity to reconnect. Let us celebrate the gift of relatives and cherish the moments we have together, for they are precious and fleeting.

I long to hear your voices, to see your faces, and to share in the joys and sorrows of life once more. Please know that my door is always open, and my heart always ready to welcome you back into my life.

May we find the courage to let go of the past and embrace the beauty of the present, united in love and solidarity as relatives.

With all my love,
Gerry

Just trying to get connected with old bosses

Last month, I did search for old bosses and colleagues through social media. I messaged them through Facebook. It's really good to know how a former employee like me reaching out to them.

Before I proceed, let me tell you something about this:

• Verify the contract information first;
• Make sure to keep your tone professional and friendly during the interaction;
• Remind them of your past work history. Doing so, will rekindle new opportunities'
• I am sure you did some accomplishments, mention it anyway since you work together;
• Make it personal;
• If you can, setup a meeting.

I did reach out to Bernard Piedad and Nestor Antonio via Facebook. There were my bosses during my first job at STI Ilagan from 2003 until 2008.

Trying to add friend request to Piedad on Facebook, a couple for christ member, but the latter declined. For some reason, I do not know. There may be something but I don't want to speculate.

I added Antonio as well, luckily he accepted it. Last time I heard about Antonio, he was listening to the program Ang Dating Daan in 2005.

I did reach out as well to Epigemio Roxas but no response at all. Good thing he accepted my friend request. But I am happy that Elmer Cadiz is a good one.

Also, I reached out to Dolly Aguilar on Facebook but still got no reply as of this writing. Dolly was my teacher in Database Management subject during my college days. She is now a school principal.

I'm streaming on Bigo Live

Today marks the beginning of streaming via Bigo Live. I official signed up as one of the Bigo hosts under the Solid Tropang Kapatiran (STK) agency.

One of my livestream events on the app.

If you wish to be one of us, don't forget to download the Bigo Live app and enter my invitation code 345014126 and find more surprises to earn money. Visit https://www.bigo.tv/user/GerryYabesPH to follow me on Bigo as well.

Team outing with new colleagues

It has been over two months since I resigned from my job as QA in a company located in Pasig. People change jobs as they see fit to move to another company for some reason: greener pasture and hopefully a better place to work for.

So I joined a another BPO company located in Taguig City. It is for a pioneering account that provide support to a streaming service which was launched in the United States. I am hopefull that it will launch in the Philippines by June 2020 or earlier.

The date February 17th came and we have our team outing for the first time in Calatagan, Batangas. Around 4-5 travel time from Taguig City. This should solidify the team members by knowing each other, group games, swimming, team lunch, etc. Everyone of us is happy of course. A special mention to Ace, our teammate who was not able to attend due to some reason.

Moving forward to another team outing again. The last time I visit the sea was around April 2016 when I was working for a company under market research industry. That was in Nasugbu, Batangas.

Finding old friends

As I am constantly searching for old friends in elementary and high school, I was surprised to see them via facebook. I am getting the chance to look back my yesteryears of being a child then.

It's a good thing to go remember things that we were together. Before we parted our ways, we spent a lot of time playing games in the ground. No computer games available yet at that time.

We have got the chance to play and have some sweat on our own. On which nowadays, the disadvantage of today's computer games. Hmmm... I just don't know what I am saying in this post.