Red flags alert

How to Identify Red Flags in Everything and Everyone: A Complete Guide

Life is all about the risk assessment and making judgments on people and situations whether at work, in a relationship, or making day-to-day decisions. A red flag is that signal warning you of the problem to come. Knowing the red flags can save you from a world of emotional, financial, or professional turbulence. But how do you build the capability to recognize red flags? In this article, it aims to inform you better on those subtle hints that will tell you that something's not right. Empower yourself by doing the best you can: more informed decisions for greater self-trust and safety.

What are Red Flags?

These red flags are hints that maybe something could be wrong or dangerous. They are more like subtle whispers telling you, "Be cautious about it." Red flags can be experienced in a number of aspects in life, such as relationships and friendships, business partnership, and job opportunities. You will not want to be on a situation that could be worse if you find those red flags early.

Spotting red flags is neither being hypercritical nor being paranoid; it is a strategy for defending oneself against detrimental outcomes. Ignoring those red flags can lead one to mental anguish, losses of chances, or perhaps even to worse things in life. The more vigilant you are, the easier it becomes to evaluate objective situations and set boundaries before taking protective measures for well-being.

1. In Relationships

The most common personal relationships, romantic or platonic, are accompanied by their red flags. Being aware of them will keep you at the right boundaries and away from toxicity.

Common Red Flags in Personal Relationships:

Lack of Trust or Dishonesty: When you often catch someone lying or see them hiding things, that is a sign of probable deceit.

Disrespect or Dismissive Behavior: Always ignores your opinions or puts you down. This is a major red flag.

Over-Control or Jealousy: When someone tries to control your actions, monitors your interactions, or constantly questions your whereabouts, it is a sign of possessive behavior.

Inconsistent Actions and Words: When someone says one thing but does another, then the person may lack reliability or sincerity.

How to Identify These Red Flags:

Listen Carefully: Pay attention both to what they say, as well as how they say it. If their actions and words don't go together, trust your instinct.

Observe Behavior Over Time: One-time stuff is a mistake, while patterns are more telling

Ask for Outside Opinions: Sometimes, friends and family can see red flags that might slip by you.

2. Workplace Red Flags

Workplaces are not immune to bad behaviors and toxicity. You can also avoid bad jobs or bad colleagues, too, if you notice any red flags in your job or business partnership that would affect your career and mind.

Red Flags in Your Job or Business Partnership

Job or Business Partnership Red Flag: High Employee Turnover

The company cannot retain its employees because of poor management or a lousy work environment.

Lack of transparency. Where the company culture, job responsibility, or compensation cannot be explained by the employer or business partner, that's a red flag.

Too much micromanaging. The feeling of being watched too much creates a stressful atmosphere and could be a sign that they don't trust you.

Unclear expectations. Job descriptions that lack clear detail or projects with shifting requirements may be symptoms of bad organization and leadership.

Ask Questions: During the interview, ask specific questions related to team dynamics, work expectations, and company values.

Interview Current or Former Employees: Their experiences can give insight into the company culture.

Pay Attention to Interview Dynamics: If the interviewers seem disorganized or avoid answering direct questions, that's a potential red flag.

3. Red Flags in Financial and Business Decisions

Red flags defend you from the diseases of scams as well as tremendous losses for investments, partnerships or any such financial decision taken.

Major Red Flags When It Involves a Financial and Business Deal

Unsustainable Offers: "So good, not even that good to be true", normally is. The person guaranteed with the mammoth returns is too lowly to believe. It just means having your guards ready with them. 

Do Not Be Compelled To Take That Step Because You Were Hurried Into Decision-Making Ends.

Lack of Documentation: If an individual avoids putting agreements in writing or is reluctant to share details, then that's a major red flag.

Poor Communication: If your potential partner or client has inconsistent communication or dodges important questions, then that's a red flag in itself.

How to Find Financial Red Flags:

Understand the Individual or Company: Look for reviews, complaints, or any red flags in their history.

Get a Second Opinion: Let your trusted financial advisors and mentors know before you get engaged.

Read the Fine Print: Read the fine print of all contracts for whatever terms and conditions are tucked away in fine print.

 

4. Red Flags in Friendships

Relationships, including friendships are meant to be mutually enriching and supportive. But sometimes, at times, they can prove to be poisonous. Knowing how to draw boundaries over these relationships so that they cause no damage to your well-being emotionally is by realizing the red flags present in friendships.

Red Flags of Friendships That One Has to Be on the Alert:

Stiff negativity: A friend with constant complaints or drama in most discussions is draining over time.

One-sided effort: There may be an imbalance within a relationship if you start to initiate contact or any support.

Lack of support: A friend, for instance, who often diminishes your achievement by undermining the success you make over and above others, he is jealous.

Emotional manipulation-If one is very much into guilt trips and is a victim to garner what they want, this is emotional manipulation.

Warning signs to watch out for:  Do you feel anxious or worried after interacting with someone? You may be on your case all the time. Well, that could be a red flag.  Sometimes, a little space gives you all the clarity you need about the situation.

Share your feelings freely: If this relationship holds a place for you, then you will express what is bothering you and find out how he reacts.

Conclusion: Trust your instincts and stay alert.

Red flags may not look like a very apparent problem; sometimes it clouds our thinking due to emotional or biased biases. Sometimes we are only vigilant or cautious, and sometimes we are even smartly making decisions regarding relationships, jobs, or investments in general. But remember; it is never too wrong to walk away or just say no once you have sensed the alarm. Actually, finding that ability and skill would always be worthwhile in our life, shielding our valuable time, effort, and inner peace.

Stay vigilant, listen to your intuition, and don't be afraid to prioritize your own safety.

Celebrate Christmas everyday

Why Filipinos Should Stop Celebrating Christmas for Four Months—and Celebrate It Every Day Instead

If there's one thing that the Philippines stands out for globally, it's the unrelenting fervor by which Filipinos celebrate Christmas. The so-called "Ber months" – from September to December – spell out a season of holiday ditties, twinkling lights, and a sense of festivity that unfolds into a whole third of the year. This long Christmas celebration is beautiful and deeply rooted in the tradition of the Filipinos, but the alternative worth considering is to spread the feel and spirit of Christmas throughout the year.

The Four-Month Christmas Tradition

As soon as September comes, holiday fever grips the Philippines. Jose Mari Chan's popular carols are now heard over the airwaves. The malls start decorating with their giant Christmas trees, and families begin preparing for the much-awaited celebrations. Long anticipation of Christmas Day brings excitement and cheer but is tiring and, sometimes, overbearing.

While the Philippines proudly proclaims its long Christmas season, the fixation on the ordinary and even event-driven, materialistic aspect of Christmas may miss something much deeper—it is, after all a spirit embodied every day of the calendar year. Christmas Isn't Just a Season—It's a Way of Life

At its core, Christmas embodies values which everybody shares: love, kindness, generosity, and community festivity. Such values do not deserve to be put in just one portion of the calendar. Why Filipino people should be infused into everyday life:

1. Culture of Continuous Generosity

Christmas is a season of giving and charity. We see people who go out of their way to help others, donate to charities, and share meals with less fortunate members of society during the holiday season. What if we maintained this spirit of generosity all year round? Communities might witness an improvement in well-being and connectivity by incorporating giving as a daily lifestyle instead of an annual occurrence.

Just imagine if acts of random kindness became the norm instead of the exception-including dinner solutions, helpful hands, and uplifting words. The results would be colossal for both the recipient and the giver.

2 Building Relationships Past the Holidays

Holiday season - reunions with the family, catching up with relatives and friends, and bonding with each other. There is more to a relationship than a season of attention. We become opportunities for care and nurturing at all times of the year if we embody the spirit of Christmas. Family reunions, calls with no specific agenda, words of appreciation would make loved ones feel cared about and strengthen relationships in ways that supersede the seasonal rush.

Being there, or just listening and showing the love and appreciation each day will help build tighter emotional bonds that are far away from the last months of the year.

3. Gratitude and Positive Mental Attitude

Christmas is that period in which people focus on the positive and get thankful for what one has, and hope as a ray of the future unfolds. Why must this feel-good attitude be saved for just a few months in a year? Gratitude practiced daily enhances happiness as well as life satisfaction. When Filipinos make themselves thankful for small blessings, they can further develop their sense of joy and contentment throughout the year.

Taking a moment daily to reflect on what you are thankful for can turn your outlook and mental health around, making life easier to handle with resilience and optimism.

Christmas Every Day: How It Can Be Made to Happen

Celebrating Christmas every day is an abstract concept; however, if done with consciousness, it is possible. Here is how it can be made to happen:

1. Small Acts of Kindness

Help others not only during the holiday season but as a daily activity. Open the door for another person, assist a friend, or volunteer in community events. These small acts show the Christmas spirit all-year-round.

2. Gratitude Practice Daily

Begin each day by writing down three things you are thankful for. They might be something as simple as having breakfast with your family or being able to walk to work. That helps keep the Christmas spirit alive by staying positive and content.

3. Regular Family Time

Always find time for your family, not only during holidays. Family dinners can be weekly; game nights or Sunday picnics are all awesome ways to strengthen bonds and keep the holiday spirit burning.

4. Mindful Gift-Giving

Give an ordinary Christmas every day as gift, instead of storing in the Christmas season. And a note, small gifts, or even some help are good enough for making them feel valued. Every expression of appreciation and love reinforces relationships.

New Ever Day Christmas Tradition

Beautifully lit with full joy is the Philippines during the period of September through December, but what is an even more fulfilling and harmonious life, I'd say, when this season can extend even to months. Parties and decorations may represent Christmas, but its love, sharing, and hope define the essence of the Yuletide season.

Make Christmas part of daily life and build a culture of kindness and gratitude. It is time to shift from four months of Christmas celebrations to 365 days of its values. For it is not in the season but in the manner of dealing with each other that we can find the true spirit of Christmas. Doing so will make araw-araw ay pasko into a reality.

Officially a theater actor

I want to qoute this adress posted on Facebook by Joel Saracho.

KEYNOTE ADDRESS

by Jose Javier Reyes

On the occasion of the First General Assembly of the

Philippine Theater Actors’ Guild

10 October 2011

PETA Theater Center

This gathering is important.

It is not only an expression of camaraderie, a renewal of friendship or a sharing of common interests.

Tonight is a vital first step.

This gathering is a statement. We want change…and we all realize that there is a task at hand. This is a necessity not merely for the sake of survival but to certify the significance of what we have chosen to become.

We come from a culture that seems to celebrate disparity as much as it makes a big deal out of our sense of unity. And yet our history has proven that change and advancement can only come when we all decide to forget our differences and assert our common goals.

If one still asks if it indeed a necessity for theater performers to get together, I think the answer is quite apparent.

This has got nothing and everything to do with the consumption of SkyFlakes crackers for lunch and dinner. This meeting is important because it is a necessary step from a decision we all made some time agao: We decided that we wanted to be artists.

We decided that this human life lent to us can and will only have meaning if we pursue, persist and fight for what can give us fulfillment. And that is to be theater artists. That is to be performers.

Mind you, I am not talking about success. I am speaking about the more important fulfillment.

Believe me, when I say that there are so many people I know who are so successful but are completely unfulfilled.

Well, yes… rarely can a theater artist be featured in Yes Magazine! to showcase his or her house: well, not unless you are Eugene Domingo.

Rarely can the theater artist be recognized in a tiangge in Greenhills… or spend his weekend shopping at the third floor of TriNoMa or the exclusive shops at Greenbelt.

You see that is the difference between being a celebrity and an artist. A celebrity gets immeasurable recognition, gets paid exorbitant amounts and gets all the fringe benefits for being public property.  A celebrity will earn literally multi-millions for endorsing everything from laundry detergents to feminine washes. And a celebrity does not even require talent. Just a lot of marketing and helluva lot more luck.

Ah, but if you choose to be a theater performer, chances are… you come from a very rich family or basically a masochist.

Theater has never developed to become a lucrative business in this country.

You join the theater because you love to perform… even if you know you cannot make a decent living out of it. Through all these years, the Filipino theater artist has subsisted for the love of the art and the craft--- whether he came from the walkways of the Rajah Sulaiman Theater in Intramuros or the backstage corridors of the Insular Life Theater in Ayala Avenue or the Tanghalang Batute or the Little Theater at the CCP.

The theater artist seeks more than success; he is in constant search for elusive fulfillment. Ironically, fulfillment is so hard to define is the reason why… we persist, insist and subsist.

That is why you are all gathered here tonight. I am joining you in your celebration of untied masochism.

More than that, you are here because you care for theater. No, you don’t only care for theater… you love being part of theater.

Because you share a comoon passion, you want our countrymen to understand what you are doing… and what you want not only for ourselves but for our country. 

You want Filipinos to finally acknowledge and appreciate the passions that so few truly understand.

You are here not for selfish reasons --- because if you were here only after the trappings of success, then perhaps you would have given up this calling and ended up in a call center instead.

You are here to make a point… and to make others see that you matter. Yes, you do matter. You may not be treated as well you wish it to be… but you matter.

Whether recognized or not… even if the theater artist is not beholden to the kingdom of the giant networks or do not have direct lines to the gods and goddesses of the movie studios… you matter!

You, like all creative agents --- mavericks, rebels and iconoclasts --- are instrumental in the shaping of our national culture.

So what makes this event important? Let me give my tatlong puntos.

Firstly, as soldiers of theater, it is about time that this country learns and recognizes the importance of this form of art as part of their lives.

There are still those who believe that theater is an elitist form of entertainment. There are those who do not recognize that the history of our country has always been anchored on theater forms in order to bring a sense of community and express the sentiments or mindset at whatever point of our soci-political evolution. But let’s not even go there.

To make my point straightforward and simple --- theater is still considered either a luxury or something required by classess in Literature and Theater Arts in high school and colleges.

The tradition of an authentic theater-going public has yet to be developed because it was never given a chance to be even a habit.

And why? Because of very apparent reasons. Not only do we lack the accessible venues for our countrymen to see the showcase of our works. Theater has been relegated to a dispensable form of entertainment made accessible only to a few.

Because of that, theater artists have never been given the importance they most definitely deserve. Because people do not know you. People do not appreciate what you do and what you represent.

Yes, we have the Cultural Center of the Philippines and places such as this… but there has been no concerted effort to bring theater closer to the people rather than compelling the audience to come to the theater.

As long as theater remains as an option from watching a concert of Bruno Mars or the Black Eyed Peas… as long as theater is considered a necessary evil, a requirement to complete courses because of reaction papers and submitted reviews to teachers… then theater can never truly be a part of the life of our countrymen.

And after all these years… after all the sacrifices made by the likes of Tinio, Mabesa, Espejo, Anton Juan, Amador, Guidote-Alvarez and a whole generation who precedes those gathered here tonight, it is about time. Yes, it is about time that you make theater matter.  

The country takes pride in saying we have talents in world-class caliber. Pointless to mention the names too familiar that they have become part of a mantra: Lea Salonga, Joanna Ampil, Leo Valdez, Junix Innocian, Monique Wilson, et cetera et cetera. Pointless to relentlessly celebrate their names and yet admit the fact that you --- theater artists--- are still being treated like second class citizens in the entertainment business.

This leads me to my second point: It is about time that the theater artists are given the respect that he and she deserve.

Let me assess the situation we all know: Even a respected veteran movie and television performer whose acting and popularity were honed by media experience said that times have indeed changed. Nowadays, it is so easy to be called an artista even if you know nothing about acting. Because of a highly competitive dog-eat-puppy world of mass media, actors are no longer treated as people. You guys have become commodities. Whereas before, to be called an actor means to prove how good you are in what you do, nowadays anybody who has been thrown in front of a camera can make claims that he is already an actor.

We all know, for instance, that reality shows are the biggest on-camera auditions ever conceived by mainstream commercial television to find the next generation of stars to fill up the studio’s stable. We all know that there are endless talent searches to keep the stockroom filled with second and third-liners.  Fresh from the catch, these young wannabes are thrown straight into the barbeque pit and made to mimic what is supposed to be acting in front of the cameras. Performers borne out of popularity and salability of the moment are made leads, considered as star while do their on-the-job training. The veteran actress asked, “Ganun na lang ba yon? Kahit sino na ba artista na ngayon?” And the sad answer is both a yes and no. 

Anyone can be a star --- for as short as three months--- or as long as his talent can hold. But not everyone --- not just anyone--- can be an actor. Stars fade--- actors mature. Stars are dependent on the box office receipts of their latest movies --- or how their most recent adventure in television fairs in the ratings game.

Actors are as good as their most recent performance --- measured by their competence in the role that they are made to play and challenged by other roles that remain to be discovered. That is why actors are diamonds that shine with greatest brilliance in time. Celebrities merely fade … or enter politics.

When television and film productions --- both commercial and independent – are in need of competent, reliable and guaranteed professional performers --- they tap the theater actors. I know that for a fact.

As a line producer for commercial films or as a TV director, there is a roster of theater performers who form a core group of supporting actors that can enhance any show or film.

You --- the theater actor--- provide credibility to the performance level of films.  Sometimes the theater actor, as the supporting performers,  surround the neophyte wannabe star so that the audience can be made to believe that the newcomer can impersonate acting.  In other words, you guys give credit to the dancing bear. It is not how good the bear dances… but the fact that you can make the bear dance at all.

But the saddest part is that you still get the SkyFlakes reference as a joke. I am quite sure that young man did not mean it that way… but is perceived that way not only by the larger public. Worse, that is how media productions think and perceive you.

Life for the dedicated professional actor was never fair. Even in the US, the likes of Jane Alexander, Patti LuPone, Mandy Patinkin and others never reached that much coveted star status not unless you are Meryll Streep. In our contry, the same thing can be said. Theater actors play the competent and inevitable supporting roles and never manage to have their names above the title--- well, not unless you are Eugene Domingo.

But what sounds like a dismal situation is good news. You should give premium to what you are worth not only for your theater work but for popular media as well.

An actor is an actor is an actor… regardless of where he appears: onstage, onscreen or in the tube. You should realize that even if you are given supporting roles that this is not a reason to be treated like second class citizens on the movie or television set.

As I said--- an actor is an actor is an actor. The only way you can dignify the wealth of your experience and training is when people realize that your work in theater is far superior than the three-day workshops given to wannabes who will be force-fed to the television or movie audiences. This leads me to the final point: no one can help you except yourselves.

If I can be so blatantly honest with you, I have learned one thing about this country. You cannot depend on anyone to protect your turf and interests except yourself. Government support to help boost the cultural development in this country? Government support to aid the development and propagation of theater? Far chance, people. Right at this very moment, there are more pressing problems in Hagonoy and Calumpit. Not that the cultural development should not be a priority… but it never was and by the looks of it, shall never be. Besides, anything that has got to do with government tends to be tainted by politics, politicking and partisanship. I guess you wouldn’t want to go into that either.

So the most important lessons, ladies and gentlemen,  is that no one can help you except youselves. And that is why tonight is very important. Tonight, by being here, you make a stand… no longer as an individual who has dedicated his life to theater… but as part of community seeking for a definite identity and a potent voice. Tonight is important because if there is any need, any change that will take place… the crucial first step has already been taken. The journey has already started because you have empowered yourselves… because you realize that if there is anybody who should protect your interests… then it has to be your own moves, your own intentions, and your own volition.

It is perhaps too simplistic to enumerate three points and claim that these summarize the problems you must confront. There are definitely more. This adventure is bound to be a bumpy but interesting ride. But what is important is that you have made the crucial first step. And this, my friends, is the significance of this night… which hopefully is the birth of a new theater in the country.

I am now one step ahead in becomimg a first class actor after a 60-hour worth of theater workshop at PETA Theater Center. It was held from September 23 until October 29, 2023. Tara, samahan niyo ako sa mundo ng Philippine entertainment industry.